I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
