At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
