only if we run a train.
done.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
