either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
