We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
