I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
