oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
