Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
