The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my being single is dangerous.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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