I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
