omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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