he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
