a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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