He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
