for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
