So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
