they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
