he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need a burrito and a hug.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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