Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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