A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
