Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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