i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I love you. Go after that dick
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
