using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
