That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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