Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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