so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
