This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
PANTIES FOUND
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