it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize