i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
