This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
