My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
