The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
