oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
