My first STD was from a foam party
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
