I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
