the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
