Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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