Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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