I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
