The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize