Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
