There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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