Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
