Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize