I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
