I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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