so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
