Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
