that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
