Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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