sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
