Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
