There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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