im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
