oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
