How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
