party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This house was built for laser tag.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
