your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
