Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
