you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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